Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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