that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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