Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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