he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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