i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
