Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
