Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
