I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
