Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i now understand why vodka
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My feet surprised me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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