I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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