you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
