The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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