So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
