i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
