Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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