please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
