The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
