your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
