It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
