1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
