I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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