Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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