It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
