My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
