He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
