doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
