So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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