i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
