I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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