Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
