On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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