My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
