If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
