mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
