Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
