It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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