it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's the barista slut.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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