Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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