the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
