Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
