I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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