operation harelip BJ is a go
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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