I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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