If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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