Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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