After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
