Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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