just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
