If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
