If that was your dad, he is hot
I have demons in me.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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