His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's never too late to be topless.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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